|Antic Level - This describes the highest form of
antics that the movie was capable of generating from double action viewers. See a further
Bodies In Motion . This term is used to describe scenes in films in which one or more
bodies, usually people, find themselves flying helplessly, often comically through the air
with no way of stopping themselves. They become puppets in the air, an almost poetic
motion, worthy of the heartiest laugh. Special awards should be given to movies in which
non-humanoid life forms find themselves experiencing BIM.
Bookmarked Scenes - These are scenes that a DA
viewer will mentally file away during a primary viewing for future references during
conversations detailing hilarious over-the-top movie scenes. They play a crucial role in
the subsequent viewings at the local $1.50 theaters for lightning fast antics on demand,
and usually incur a 25% increase in laughter volume over the primary
Buffer Zone - This describes the number of friends
(sometimes no longer after a good viewing) that must be invited to the movie theater to
surround you to help prevent other movie goers from suffering the direct effects of 120dB
Conventional Rating - This is a rating for the
normal moviegoer to look at and consider whether or not the film is worth seeing.
After all, it may take time for some people to become a certified double action movie
enthusiast, and double action viewers are also capable of recognizing high quality movies
Double Action Rating - This is the primary
rating, measured in sore throat lozenges/cough drops, that were required to soothe a
double action reviewer's throat from laughter during the course of the film. 4 lozenges is
the highest rating, with 0 being a complete waste of time (from a DA perspective). It is
theoretically possible to utilize more than 4 lozenges, but at this time only the Sudden Death Penguin Fight Scene
has approached this theoretical limit.
Hoist Machine - A double action term for a device
that directors use, called a "ratchet", to achieve BIM. There
are many different angles and rates at which bodies fly across screens. By far the most
effective is the sudden backwards acceleration in which a character(s) find themselves
accelerating so rapidly that they find their hands and legs parallel to the ground. Also
the directors get the best effect when the movement is delayed slightly then rapidly
ensues. Honorable mention goes to Independence Day and From Dusk Till Dawn
in which both movies have aliens/vampires in hoist machines.
Laughter Utilization - This is a measure of
how much laughter capacity was used during the film, averaged over most of the bookmarked
scenes. It is measured with relation to the maximum output possible from a reference film.
At this time, Sudden Death, starring Jean-Claude VanDamme, showcasing his extended fight scene with the penguin
mascot reigns over all films.
Newton's First Law of Motion - A body
continues in a state of rest, or motion with a constant velocity, unless compelled to
change by an unbalanced force. This law is often violated in movies with excessive BIM, a good precursor to a high double action rating. Prime examples can
be found in movies directed by John Woo, where motorcyclists find their bikes continue to
slide on pavement for distances up to a mile after they have fallen off of them. Another
example can be found in The Long Kiss Goodnight, where an 18 wheeler continues to
slide for almost a mile after toppling over, giving Charlie a prime opportunity to leap
off onto another vehicle. Clearly these movie events occur in a frictionless world, where
double action viewers reign.
Primary Viewing - The first viewing of a movie,
usually during opening weekend, in which the audiences are most likely to be shocked /
offended due to their inability to hear the film during key action sequences (even in THX theaters) as tremendous laughter
emanates from the double action viewer(s) location. This is also the time during which
scenes are bookmarked.
Proximity Indicator - The probability of a
male and female having sexual relations increases exponentially the closer their bodies
come to one another. This is usually the result of heightened arousal after both
characters have witnessed BIM. Special Note : This is also true for female / female
sexual relations in B rated thriller movies.
SBC - Stallone Battle Cry - The sound that
Sylvester Stallone utters whenever he is running away from an explosion behind him.
Double Action viewers duplicate this sound for scenes from other movies where this
situation occurs. It is especially effective when applied to non-humanoid
forms. A key example is a scene from Independance Day in which a dog is
showcased leaping away from an explosion. Either Stallone's voice or that of a dog
howling is an appropriate enhancement.
SDSPL - Sudden Death Sound Pressure Levels
- Measured in decibels-dB. A decibel is a unit used to express sound pressure levels;
specifically, 20 times the logarithm of the ratio of the measured sound pressure to a
reference quantity, 20 micropascals. In hearing testing, the unit used to express hearing
threshold levels is referred to audiometric zero. The loudest tolerable sound that a human
can hear without causing hearing damage is 120dB (a jet engine at 50 feet generates 140dB)
Double Action viewers can generate levels of laughter of this magnitude on a regular basis
during first rate BIM, but this barrier has been broken in a special
case, during the film Sudden Death. See the Highest Laughter Utilization Scene.
Any scene that is remarkable in its laughter inducement may be worthy of the distinction
SDSPL, to indicate its quality to other viewers.
SHT - Standard Hollywood Tripe - Scenes in movies that
are deliberately placed in for a cheap laugh, which usually results in a stern face and
crossed arms by DA viewers.
SRH - Sudden Realization of Horror - The moment from
which a character in a movie finds them selves split between two completely conflicting
emotions. Complete happiness or calm one instant, utter horror the next. Rare to find in
some films, easiest to find on shows such as America's Funniest Home Videos and
video tapes such as Caught on Camera .
Virgin Viewers - People that have not yet seen a
movie with Double Action viewers and are unknowingly invited along. They are often so
surprised that they are either in total shock or are afraid to admit they are secretly
enticed by such enlightened movie viewing techniques.
Why Me??? - This is the expression / gesture that
a character makes when they realize that their demise is only micro seconds away. This
usually entails a facial expression of a cry for help, coupled with outstretched palms
facing skyward. These situations are so hilarious because the expendable character doesn't
do anything that might help them get out of this situation (for example jumping away from
an oncoming car/train/miscellaneous object) and instead spends their last fleeting moments
on Earth crying out for help. Their cries are answered - by laughter.
XBC - Xena Battle Cry - The cry that Xena,
Warrior Princess, utters whenever she flies through the air towards a foe.
Double Action viewers duplicate this sound as best they can for any scene in which
contains BIM. This is best applied when one DA viewer executes a DPCS and another utters XBC simultaneously in the theater. This
almost certainly guarantees that the movie's soundtrack becomes masked by the DA viewers
antics. Check out the battle cry firsthand: